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Soul Stirrings:  How looking back gives each of us the freedom to move forward 
by Joyce M. Coleman


Excerpt :  Looking Back - Reflections

 

When I made the decision to revisit memories of my early childhood, the most vivid pictures were of school related times.  So that’s where I began.  During my odyssey there were discoveries and re-discoveries – some that validated my sense of self, and others that motivated me to become proactive about reshaping behavior not supportive of my goals.  Some of the resultant impacts follow.

 IMPROVED SELF-CONFIDENCE.  It was fortuitous that I was well into my journey of self-discovery by the time my career path made a radical change, just prior to the traditional  “season of school” in 1999.  I was at yet another crossroad in my life, this time caused by a confluence of conflict of vision amid corporate maneuverings and my own emerging sense of who I could be.   Perhaps it was the self-discovery that was the pre-emptive force that made me adamantly articulate my own vision.  I was no longer glad just to be admitted through the corporate-officer door. I knew I could offer more.   You see, what I learned along the pathway to my beginnings freed me from many longstanding fears and misgivings about not being good enough or smart enough, and gave me courage and hope for the future.

SEEING THROUGH A DIFFERENT FILTER… As a child and young adult I did not understand the reasons for many of my parents’ beliefs and behaviors.  Most seemed old fashioned at best, if not downright bizarre.  As I more closely examined their circumstances, I learned that the way they went about their lives was in many cases a strategic response to situations that challenged their very existence.  What appeared “country” was an absolute miracle of ingenuity and courage in the face of overpowering odds.  What I perceived as stern, unyielding, and moving too slowly I now saw as having a clear vision of right and wrong, and a willingness to exercise patience in the attainment of objectives.

PERMISSION TO RELAX.  Work, not play, was my reality.  Play was a luxury available during school lunch periods and moments we stole from chores.  Sometimes, we made a game of our work, but felt we had to be careful not to appear to be having too much fun.  At the time, the arrangement seemed perfectly normal.  I didn’t know any other way.  As I remembered my past,  I realized that I’ve spent a lifetime ensuring that I was always  busy, doing something that others considered worthwhile.  Sort of like justifying my existence. Although I’ve not discovered a solution,  just knowing that the problem exists means that I can work at correcting it. I want my work to count, to matter, to have a purpose.  And I know that I deserve a break for play every now and then.

 

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